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A Guaranteed Method To Get Everyone Hitched – Part 2

In the previous post, we took a look at where marriage stands in America.  Let’s be honest; when it comes to secure, faithful unions, we are coming up short.  Marriage nowadays ain’t what it used to be (besides our grandparents, most people struggle to name 3 couples that they personally know that have stayed married to their original mate) .  But there is a solution…arranged marriages!

Why Submit to an Arranged Marriage?

The bottom line is that our families and communities are in jeopardy.  These are desperate times for the family structure, and that calls for desperate measures.  So let’s make the case for arranging marriages:

  • It will SAVE the nuclear family. Nowadays, too many children are growing up without a Mom & Dad.  There are enough reasons for this to fill a book, but the bottom line is that setting up compatible mates will benefit the children 1st.  For me, that’s enough right there.
  • It will stabilize our communities. Not only will the household benefit from the stability of more committed unions, but so will the overall community.  With more stable households, there is bound to be a trickle-down effect for our streets and neighborhoods as well.  Win-Win.
  • Everyone will have the opportunity for a family. This benefits everyone.  Through engineering unions, all the frivolousness of the dating game is neutralized.  Dating and running/maintaining a household are two separate animals (and dating to me is totally unnecessary).  And people that hold similar views on the household and child-rearing can be matched together – which may lead to better outcomes.



Let’s Talk Benefits

Ok.

If you’re still listening, by now you’ve read a whole lot about how this setup has all these benefits.  But I’m not the only one saying it.

“Marriage fosters small cooperative unions — also known as stable families — that enable children to thrive, shore up communities and help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times.”

 

I agree with every word (check out that Deseret News article here).

But what do the bride and groom get out of it?

Well for starters, they have the opportunity to participate in a marriage that lasts.  Longer.  One of the reasons cited for the longevity of the arranged marriage is because the love grows over time between mates rather than up front all at once.  That’s a pretty strong benefit.

Another benefit for couples is through arranging the union, love won’t get in the way.

Here’s the thing: I don’t hate love.  However, I do believe that ‘love’ is a western notion that impedes true happiness AND family stability.  Because if the goal is marriage and family, that is attainable.  But this love conquers all stuff is not.  And the problem is that it is damaging the psyches of too many people, blocking progress towards their stated goal.  And arranging marriages gets rid of that issue.

And the best news is that both parties in a marriage benefit from that.

 

Who Wins, Who Loses?

Naturally, if there are all of these gains, then that has to mean that there will be losses too, right?  Certainly.  But the losers aren’t necessarily the parties one would expect.  Let’s take a look.

  1. Winners
    1. Men
    2. Women
    3. Children
  2. Losers
    1. Serial Monogomists
    2. Big Business (firms that capitalize on love to profit)
    3. Love (let it go & attain happiness)



Do The Benefits Outweigh The Costs?

Ultimately, that is for each individual to decide, according to his or her needs.  Yet I maintain the view that folks submitting to arranged marriages are the best way forward for all of us.  I have given you my reasons, and I believe in them wholeheartedly.

But I remain pessimistic.  Because I know that this solution would never get serious consideration in this country.  And honestly, I know the reasons why.

We all know that these days, people not only don’t want to be lectured to, but they insist on having the right to do whatever they want – even if it is not in their best interest.

Fair enuff.

And let us also acknowledge that the society-wide obsession with the love concept will keep too many people searching high & low, and in every nook & cranny for this mythical everlasting love.  We also know that there is an industry of literature, television, and movies created around (and foster) this concept.  Meat-and-potatoes practical thinking can’t compete with that.

Lastly, it is too old-world.  The simple truth is that men & women these days are more interested in innovation, in terms of moving forward.  And this is the opposite of that.  Heck, arranged marriage is a way of life as old as the hills.  And no one has any interest in that.

Even if that can be the answer to the relationship riddle.

1 comment

  1. Clarissa

    It is a mistake to assume that longevity of a marriage in any way relates to the happiness of the couple and especially of their children. My parents have been married for 40 years, and I spent all my childhood praying to God that they would divorce and just end the misery already. God didn’t listen, though.

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